Now the big question here is how did I, attract this chick; just by me standing up and saying something at a conference in defense of another person.  And why is she so like… not good for me, yet insistent on being with me.  Arrgghhh.  I just kinda want to pretend this whole thing never happened.  It is so awkward.

I’m trying to visualize  my way out of it.  I think she is around right now to be a true friend and “wake me up”, so I can get on with life and garner up enough courage to ask T.K. out.

Two more days of mercury retrograde.  Thank God.

At any rate; unfortunately one of my Professors knows that I am a trans man [he is on my Supervision Ctte].  And guess what…. he is being a “bigoted prick”…..  The underhanded comments have been flowing for a good 6 months now.  So guess what….  I thought I would cap off Mercury Retrograde; by bringing forth harassment charges against him.  He said some shit  to me last week, that way crossed the line.  And I am basically not gonna take it anymore.  I think that is what I need to learn and through this experience….  how to defend myself in a “professional manner”.  I have a meeting with the Dean tomorrow… so of course I will keep you posted….

On the girlie front….  I have decided to put all of my efforts towards finding a “single” woman to date.  I can’t do this poly thing.  As much as I like this little chickadee, it just does not make me feel good.  And, I want to feel good about everything I do in this life.  Oh well, to bad for chickadee.  Now, I just have to break the news.  For a chick who who has multiple relationships…. she sure is sensitive.

Buttons are getting pushed all over the place….  And I hope that I am dealing with “all of my shit/unfinished business” in an appropriate manner.  I think I am.  I am trying to stand up for myself alot more, but not in such a reactive way.  I’m learning how to take a “break-think-then react”.

On the lady front…..  I think things are back on track with my little chickadee.  We had a date last week, which was nice.  Like I said before; I really dig her.  But, I am really finding hard to get past the fact that she is already living with someone.  I’m starting to consider, even if I view this as a fling….  But, I’m not sure about the health of this whole situation.  Personally I view little chickadees relationship with her partner as quite, co-dependent.  Where by little chickadee is the “caretaker”….  I know she doesn’t like to be alone; and obviously needs to take care of others.  I don’t know what she expects from me?  I kinda hate being taken care of.  hhhmmm.

I need to find a nice “single” girl.

On the dating front….  I met up with my little chickadee this afternoon.  We went for a walk and talked.  I called her on her shit… which she owned [how mature, eh].  I feel better, telling her how I’ve felt lately- less then impressed.  She had a less then stellar week herself I guess.  Trouble in paradise?  Her and the “partner” were having issues this week.  All I know, is, I don’t want to know….  So, who knows where this is gonna go now.  She left me to run off and make dinner for her significant other and to think about “us”.

Anyway, on wards and upwards….  I have a super crush on this other woman who is like one degree of separation from me….  She is friends with friends… and I keep seeing her at parties; but of course I am too chicken shit to walk up and say “Hi”.  She has a blog too.  More of a real one I would say [she writes about stuff other then her life.... unlike narcissistic old me].  I read it.  A lot.

I gotta get some balls man.

So, it has been a week or two since this new little lady….. [Let's call her Ms. Montreal] has been back in my life.  And although like I said before, she has all of the qualities I would look for in a girlfriend…. this poly thing is getting old really fast.

We had a great date last weekend…. went for a picnic on the beach.  And, I could have shagged her brains out right then and there [I like having sex outside otay].  But, come on now…. I’m not that easy.  I did leave her later that day with her begging to come over that night, however.

But, here is where the trouble starts….  she was going to come over at 10pm.  But she never called!  I got a text at 2 am saying “sorry”.  wtf?  She was trying to then get together with me this week, things were going ok…. but she kept changing dates again on me.  Finally I thought we agreed to Saturday…  And then she actually shot me an email saying that she made a mistake and needed to spend the day with her girlfriend… b/c in fact it was her day off.  Guess what honey, it was my day off too.  So yeah, is me…. or are red flags going off for you too?

I shot her a nasty email, about switching times etc…. but really I just can’t believe she was honest/dumb enough to own up to why she would change plans like that.  What the hell have I gotten myself into here, eh folks?

But, now I find myself on the doorstep of a whole new kind of relationship…. And wonder if it is just another evolution for me? I have fallen for a young lady. She kinda blows me away, she has all of the qualities I have been looking for in a “lady friend”. One problemo [cause there has always gotta be one]. She is already in a relationship! Oh, don’t worry nobody is a cheatin’. She is in one of those there “open relationships”; her “partner” is supposedly well aware of moi. Yeah. Polyamorous, she is; she tells. Poly what?  So she lives with her Partner and goes for “dates” with me.  Talk about having your cake and eating it too.  All I know is that she is shagalicious…..  And I am currently not thinking with the right head- if you know what I mean.

Don’t worry.  You will be kept posted.

And let’s just say it has taken about a month to get over, and “process” my experiences there. Where do we start…

Aside from the fact that the Academics were of course pathologizing trans people. Which always throws my head for a loop. Don’t you think it would be weird to sit in an auditorium and listen to some non trans person recite “results” from a “study” they did on you or your friends. Lab rats, we are.  It’s just weird.  I know it is just another area of study….  I just maybe won’t go next time.  I don’t need a “Professor” to tell me what I already know.

Hey Vancouver.

My name is the Curious Kid, and this is a blog about me.  Specifically, my journey as a “Trans Man”….  and how I transition within the Trans/non Trans/ and let’s give the “genderqueers” their own section too…. communities.  As I transition.

Yeah, I know there are a million different blogs out there now.  So why can’t I have one?  And why can’t I write about the shit that goes on in my life….  And the shit that goes on in the Trans Community here in Vancouver.  I won’t bore you with minor transition shit, like “I got my first chin hair” etc…. [because I do- and shaving is a pain in the ass really].

I promise to entertain you with the interesting folk I meet along my journey.  As well as the sick Fucks within the community who unfortunately…. need their attention.  I’ll give them plenty here!

So if you read, you read…. and welcome.  If you don’t wanna- whatever.